Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
