I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
