Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You pole danced in your parka.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have feelings that need drinking.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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