i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
