Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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