Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just cropdusted the office
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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