shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
