their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
