big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
