haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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