operation have a gay friend backfired
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
