I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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