now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I love you.
Bad choice
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
