Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
