No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
