Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
