Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize