all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm having to shit out rocks
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
