you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
