STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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