you have to choose: penises or morals?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dignity is for republicans.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
