I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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