Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
