yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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