is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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