ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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