i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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