she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
