it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize