Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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