You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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