If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize