She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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