I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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