Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize