we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize