Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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