oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
