Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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