Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
