***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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