I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
