She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
