i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
