Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

tell him to stop quoting family guy

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(843): View more from South Carolina

my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...

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(740): View more from Ohio

becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.

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(914): View more from New York

I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

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(607): View more from New York

We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?

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(956): View more from Texas

There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?

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