Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
