WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
