a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
