i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
