Sry I called you an 8
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
