is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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