my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
