Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
