we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
