she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
