Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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