I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
