Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize